Women, know your limits!

Ordering Our Life

 {Titus 2:3-5}

Part 1

Where Does the Time Go?

     “Anyone want some help getting their life in order? ”  The faces and names filled in quickly. Women are trying to do it all.  Is that true for you, too?  So much on our plates. Too much, even. Sure, we’re powerful and competent and capable-all that and more. But we’re limited. Ahh, I know I lost some of you there; hang with me.  No matter how brilliant our minds, how lofty our title, how big (or small) our house, our car, our bank account,  how healthy our body, and no matter if we’re happily married, or completely alone in our day to day requirement, we have each the same 60 minutes in every hour to our 24 hour day. No more and no less. Without exception, we are all limited by time. Not a thing we can do to change it.  How we choo2016-01-09_0006se, as we’re able,  to use those moments  is our decision.

    So often somewhere between high school and early motherhood we find ourselves spinning in the middle of our own lives, going nowhere fast with no idea how to get off the crazy merry-go-round. We’re stuck, we’re out of control for the first time ever, and we’re too disoriented  to even begin to think about how to stop– it let alone fix it. When we dare peek through the blur, what we see is some semblance of our former selves mustering the day in odd fitting and tattered clothing (maybe not even our own), dark under-eye bags outlining drooping lids, crying babies, toy-strewn carpet (and stairs and toilets…), unstuffed cushions, half-opened mail,  overflowing trashcans, dirty sheets, full laundry rooms, and disheveled refrigerators and pantries. The whole scene scares us so much we tuck back in and continue spinning, because, as difficult as it is, it’s easier than facing  reality. Believe me when I say: 1. It’s not as bad as the voice in your ear is telling you, and 2. You’re not alone!   We -you, me and the Lord – can make this better together!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              It’s almost laughable to hear the Elephaproposition of ordering our life. In our dreams it’s a lovely thought.  It seems impossible from where you are, but it’s definitely not. Tears roll down our cheeks, and we’re grateful the end means to both laughter and crying is the same. Tissue, please. Like the elephant in the room, among all the other moms and wives who seem to have it altogether, we  continue to tell ourselves the same lies. Lies.  And, we die a little inside to think everyone else has figured it out and “she” makes the put together life look so easy while we’re spinning out of control. Please, notice her closets are all closed, too. 😉 We’re self-proclaimed failures when really, we all struggle.

We can all learn to live an orderly if we’re willing to change. 

Ephesians 5:15-17 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Clock

    Where do we even start? Does anyone even  know where we should spend our time? The thing with the clock is it keeps ticking, it continues keeping sync, and time is passing whether or not we’re doing anything purposefully. We’ve all wanted to stop time before, if for a minute-catch up, or to get things straight, even to just breathe…but it never happens. The Bible talks about time, and redeeming it. Have you ever redeemed something? It’s a trade: something for something. We do the same thing with our time. Willingly or not, we trade it. Since time is limited with no exception, it’s quite the valuable commodity.

What are you trading for your time?

    This brings me to our the first exercise in Ordering Our Life: without scrutinizing and with as little or as much detail as you’d like, jot down where you’re spending your time. It’s simple, in each allotted space, write out what you’re doing (feeding the baby, making breakfast, cleaning the bathroom) whatever it is. What you’re NOT trying to do here is FIX anything. Just make your schedule a mirror of your day’s (and night’s)  time. Do this for a few days straight.

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 2.29.25 PM

Then, come back with your filled in schedule for the next exercise in Ordering Your Life: Titus 2: 3-5 when we’ll learn more about our priorities. We’re not living one another’s lives, and we don’t want to cookie-cutter our schedule like the next one. It won’t work. IF I could hand you your life on paper, I would. So, I’ll hold your hand and help you through it, but it’s going to be up to you to follow-through. Let’s do this!

Here you go:  Use this daily schedule to get started.  See you back here soon for more about PRIORITIES!

Don’t put God first on your list!

Is God First on Your List?

Show of hands, how many of us have made lists with the intention of putting our day in order and starting with, “God First?”

(raises hand)

It was always a mess of a list no matter how neatly it was written.  There’s where my troubles started.

I’m thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me. He sees my heart instead of the way I fumble up what my heart is trying to accomplish. He  reaches to me in my frustration and bids me to come to Him. In all my ways, I want to  direct my heart and attention to Him because He certainly knows the way I am to go. The way I’m trying to go-sometimes (and all too often)- I navigate in haste and without the guidance of my mapmaker.

The Lord is our mapmaker!

Trust in the LORD with ALL thine heart, and leant not unto thine own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall DIRECT THY PATHS.Proverbs 3:5 – 6

I Put God First on my List

For  years my daily lists, always sincere, started with, “#1. God.”  Maybe I’m weird, or maybe I’m in good company, but the high of putting a check mark next to itemized list components made my day, I’ve even been known to write things down such as “make breakfast” as I finished putting the last breakfast dish into the dishwasher…just for a check mark. But the reality of my to-do list  was a simple group of words that were ever yielding way as the most urgent in my day pushed and prodded: a meal to make, a baby to change, an injury to fix, a husband’s need that only I  can meet (like, “Where are my socks?”, an appointment to meet,  and on and on urgency grew.

Urgent replaced Priority

Suddenly, in subtle, everyday and ordinary moments my Urgent List bumped out my #1 God List. My heart grew more discouraged as my pillow would catch my head only to keep seeing how My Heavenly Father got bumped from the top every time life interrupted. This is not at all what my heart desires.  I wrestled with the common advice: if God was my priority, my list would show it-on paper and in life. Sigh. I tried harder. I did more. I did less. I prayed. I cried. I sighed and felt like throwing up my hands. I did everything and anything I could think of: read something else or listen to another podcast and hoped  it just might help me live with Jesus first in my life and keep Him on top of that list each day. You’ve heard it, right? J-O-Y: Jesus, Others, Self;  Jesus first, and then everyone/everything else.

I failed time and again.

I don’t remember exactly when the Lord showed me what He really wanted in my life, or how drastically different it looked than J-O-Y and being on the top of my list. But in His faithfulness and His continual love pursuit for me, He DID.

He wanted my heart— all of it.

He wanted to be JESUS, all of Him in my life!

Proverbs 21:3
To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.

hub

God can’t be place on top of my list!

God can’t be placed on the top of my list. List making needed a re-do and #1 wasn’t God. As odd or wrong as it sounds, He just can’t. Why?  Because, if He’s there, by the time I get to the business of whatever has multiplied in my day (before I turn off the water from brushing my teeth!), I’ve distanced myself from #1 to #723!  Figuratively speaking of course, but it’s true in the sense of my flawed thinking. God isn’t trying to get a check mark by His position in my day!

God want’s to be overflowing from the center of my life and my heart!

He wants to be the overflowing right from the center of my life-my heart.  

And yours, too.

When I am in obedience to all I know is right (James 4:17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.), then I am free to let the Lord infuse every breath and every action in my day. Every day.

God belongs in the center of my life, not at the top of my list!

The secret to every wheel is its hub!  You may not know exactly how a hub keeps things turning and in balance, but you’ll be able to tell when it’s not working. Let’s look at the the short-notes from,

 Signs of a worn wheel hub:

• Snapping, clicking or popping. This can indicate  worn or damage 

(Unless we’re talking green beans here, snapping isn’t a good thing.)

 • Grinding when … in motion. …it means a loss of integrity

(Ok, Grinding has taken on a new meaning lately (and working hard is good), but when teeth start making noise, our faces turn red, and children hide, we’re losing.)

 • Knocking or clunking.  …caused by excessive backlash

(Every mom knows this one. When our day is full of dragging ourselves around with all the clunking noises coming with, it’s not a good day. It’s not a good look. And whatever is mumbled under our breath is mostly likely not God honoring as we clunk-on.)

  • Humming, rumbling or growling

(If growling is accompanying humming, this is a sign our praise has changed to grumbles, and grumbles aren’t an effective side-note to loving others throughout our day.)

  • Vibration or wobble. This is generally associated with a damaged or worn tire, or severe chassis misalignment. (Is it just me who feels like she visibly shakes so everyone in the immediate area sees the vibration, or feels it, before I come unglued?)

  • Shudder, shimmy or vibration. This is normally associated with… being out-of-balance.

(Shimmy, shimmy-that’s a fun dance? Dancing and shuddering, and shaking are sure signs all things are out of balance, and we should probably stop our day in its track to get things back in line before we really blow it. Or, gather those around to seek their forgiveness after a good talk and time of repentance with the Lord. So thankful our children are so forgiving, and the Lord doesn’t keep a limited record.)

  • Uneven… wear. The most common cause is a warped rotor due to the caliper not retracting.

(Those times when all things are off kilter and it’s all you can do to  just breathe. Weariness is part of life, for sure.)

• Abnormal or uneven… wear. . The most common are worn or damaged… misalignment, improper inflation or tire selection.

(This may be the most directly related to trying to  keep the Lord #1 and removing Him from the center hub of our lives. ALL things uneven, and unfixable until and only after He is allowed to have preeminence back in the center of our lives.

  • Auto Brake failure, which could be internal or external

(Do we need to talk about this? Is there a woman here who is unfamiliar with the reality of holding onto the end of the rope so all you have doesn’t come crashing down? I think not. We can’t afford brake failure, can we? Thankfully, God can take care of us in every way, as we allow Him to.)

How’s your hub?

Friends, life can get really difficult, and even with the Lord in the center of our lives (Praise Him for that!) we feel the bumps, rocks, potholes and mud splashing covering us head to toe at times, but it’s ok. It’s ok to struggle. It’s ok to be tired sometimes. It’s ok to know our burden is too much-that others are needed to help us carry that which the Lord is doing in our hearts. But it’s always, always right to obey God at all costs. We will always come out FAITHFUL, and faithful women is what we who love the Lord desire.

God won’t waste your story! Trust Him.

Matthew 11:28

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Psalms 57:7

My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises!

 

Listening for Mom’s Voice

Phone Home

Remember my gratitude of hot baths recently? Yeah, it’s not so luxurious  when your smart-phone jumps in.

Last week that’s exactly what happened.

Jan. 15th, sprinting upstairs to soothe myself in hot water w/a good book before “any more” did me in.

Grab my book with my phone disguised as the back cover under my fingertips.

Relax. Play yahtzee. Grab my book. Douse my yahtzee as it clunks to the bottom.

Panic for  moment, NOT MY YAHTZEE GAME!

Whew, it’s not.

Imagine my instant relief and distress to realize what was happening in slow motion.

Penguin_Slap

It’s my PHONE!

glub, glub, glub

Rice, hairdryer and all that jazz to no avail.

Nights were much quieter: thankful.

Days were much less stressful: thankful.

My neck was a lot straighter: thankful.

Life was nice in an old way– and a fresh way: thankful.

It took a couple of days before we had time to address a new one and I sure didn’t like the $$ I was seeing with each new avenue I tried. My phone was 3+  years  old, and it was ok with me. However, the fact it didn’t turn on made the otherwise $200 credit void.  Even so,  the iphone 6s+ is quite a sweet upgrade;  if I was going to do this I was going big. Do you know how much these guys cost now? Monthly payments for 2 years or straight up nearly $900?! I wasn’t too excited. At all. Nevertheless, 7 hours and 2 stores later, a shiny rose-gold phone box was waiting for my signature to make it mine when my husband asks, “Will the Geniuses even look at her phone? What could they do if…”

Another 2 hours, 1 reboot attempt and, “Sir, 2 sensors are showing water, I don’t know how that happened and I’m sure you don’t either, so…”

We were able to use my $100 gift card and get a replacement refurbished iphone 5 for less than $200 out of pocket.

Thankful!

I have a phone I can trade in (at some point sans water) and get the $200 credit now: thankful!

I can talk to my brothers again: thankful.

Texting my best friends in the moment I think of them really is important to me: so thankful.

The only app I lost had a video project I had started this year, so those moments are gone,

BUT, my mom’s voice wishing my son a happy birthday is still there. I’m so very thankful.

I wonder if  your voice changes in heaven?

I don’t know, and while it tears me up to hear her sweet voice, the thought of losing it in the tub was heartbreaking.

God is good, He is just good no matter what happens around me.

While I waited, I really wondered if I’d ever hear her voice again. I’m undeserving, but so thankful for The Lord.

Whose voice are you listening for?  A good reminder, isn’t it?

John 10:

22 Then the Festival of Dedication took place in Jerusalem, and it was winter. 23 Jesus was walking in the temple in Solomon’s Colonnade.† 24 The Jews surrounded him and asked, “How long are you going to keep us in suspense?† If you are the Messiah,† tell us plainly.” 25 “I did tell you and you don’t believe,” Jesus answered them. “The works† that I do in my Father’s name testify about me. 26 But you don’t believe because you are not of my sheep.†† 27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life,† and they will never perish.† No one will snatch† them out of my hand. 29 My Father,† who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”†

I hope you know Him and can hear His voice. It’s the only way to live a full, peaceful life on earth and it’s the only hope of spending our eternity with the Jesus, our good shepherd.

A week of not-Fridays

Friday not Friday

January 14, 2016

 Have you had weeks where you were a day ahead of yourself?

My Tuesday was Monday, and today was Friday but thankfully not  a Monday,

because, well– I can’t even imagine!

Top 10 mondayisms of Thursday:

  1. Hidden and now stale bread is great– for  birds and squirrels
    Feeding birds
  2. My resourceful son will hang said bread on branches so the dog doesn’t eat it
  3. It can take ALL day to clean one kitchen  2016-01-14_0004
  4. Breakfast for dinner is sometimes necessary
  5. THM (trim healthy momma) Cream Cheese Waffles are to die for

    waffles

    waffles

  6. Waffle batter does not a pretty wall (cabinet, floor, shirt, hair…) accessory make
  7. Brake lights cost way more to get replaced when the cargo door is broken
  8. Hot baths are relaxingbath time
  9. iphones don’t like hot baths
  10. Thank the Lord for a good sense of humor; if you don’t have one, get one!        2016-01-14_0006

Note taking

Today’s Lesson

January 13, 2016

The moments which grab my heart with the most might are almost always unexpected.

Take today, for instance. Who knows what important and enlightening thing I was saying to my youngest while

peering over his shoulder to see the computer screen when I noticed his notes. These were not

notes required of his lessons. They were, however, required of mine.

Here sits my son (whose busy boy body can hardly sit at all),

working away yet paying close attention to what the Lord is teaching him.

In the middle of ‘getting it all done,’ this sweetheart pens

the notes on his heart so he won’t forget.

How about me?

Am I so busy ‘getting it done’ I don’t take note of what the Lord wants my heart to hear?

Today the lesson was for me and my son was the teacher.

I’m touched,

and

I’m thankful.

Taking Notes

Taking Notes

For women at home

He calmed the storm to a

whisper, and the waves of the

sea were hushed.

Psalm 107:29

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