What happens as we replace fear for Faith?

faith not fear
This is faith

HOW can we say goodbye to fear and instead have faith?

If you’re a Christian woman trying to navigate through the trenches of fear in your own life, I can’t wait to walk through some scripture together. We have so much to gain as we draw close to the Lord. Ready?

Move in Close

Draw nigh to the Lord and He will draw nigh to you. James 4:8

Recently we chatted about living in fear as Christian women, and what it looks like to love the Lord yet feel afraid. If you haven’t already, read that here. As promised, we want to further discover what life looks like when yield to the scripture we find in Psalms and we trust the Lord through our fear. Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid I will trust in thee.

Joy

As we abide in Christ, we find His joy overflowing from our hearts and voices. It’s not difficult for me to again place myself in our little car traveling down one of our city’s most occupied roads on the way to the funeral home with clothing for the undertakers to put on my sweet father in-law’s corpse. Oh how we loved him. His sudden death shocking us to our core and leaving us broken and grieving. I’ve mentioned it before, but my husband’s quiet refrain softly began singing out, “In moments like these, I sing out a song, I sing out a love song to Jesus…” It was a beautiful, joyful moment of praise and worship.

You see, when we put our trust in the Lord, He fills our heart with joy. Even when life is far from happy, and even when we are afraid, there’s a supernatural transformation from our fear to His joy when we submit ourselves to Him. It really does work just like that; if we want more joy, the answer is always more Jesus!

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart rejoices, and I praise Him with my song.  Psalm 28:7

Truth

Do you know that song, Fear is a Liar by Zach Williams?


Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
‘Cause fear he is a liar

You know what that is? Truth. It’s truth. Another way we trade fear for faith is by listening to truth instead of our fear-he is a liar. Even better than that is listening to THE Truth. Jesus is THE truth.

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6

Christian, this is exciting! When we know Christ, we have THE living truth as we abide and trust in Him. If you’re anything like me, you open your mind way too often for the lies to come rushing in. I don’t even have to repeat what they sound like, but they often start with, “You’re not…” “No-one else…” “I can’t believe…” So, let’s not belabor the point of knowing all too well what the lies sound like, yet let us stop the lies-the liar inside our heads. I AM waits for us to turn to Him. He is able. Joy and truth are worthy choices in a life that is filled with fearful circumstances. Trading our fear for faith means we manifest the Lord’s joy and truth as we strive after more Jesus.

Praise

If I were a betting woman, I would bet my life savings (hahaha) that most of you saw praise and thought singing or songs. Am I right? We are learning bit by bit what Scripture has to share with us about trading our fear for faith. First of all in Psalms 56:3 we determine to trust in thee.: WHEN I am afraid, I WILL TRUST in THEE. Almost have to capitalize every word of that verse. We will be afraid. We have a choice. Trust in thee. Therein lies the beginning of unfolding our faith and casting away our fears. Praise. As we have talked about already, singing unto the Lord is good; we should sing out to the Lord. We need to go back to Psalm 56 to learn more about praise.

When I am afraid,
     I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
     in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
     What can flesh do to me? (Psalm 56:3–4)

Rewind: Praise God’s WORD!

Did you catch that? In God, whose WORD I PRAISE. David was afraid, and he had good reason to be. We can sign praise to God, but oh what an amazing practice for our soul to praise His Word. The thought is repeated just a few verses later, verse 10: In God will I praise his word: in the LORD will I praise his word. It goes, should go, without saying, in order to praise God’s Word we have to know His Word. For those of us who are not new Believers, we probably have some passages or verses in the Bible that we know and love. I wonder if you’d share some of yours with us? I would love if you would. Also, in sticking with the truth of, more joy, more Jesus, we all need to find a way to spend more time getting to know Him through His Word. I will praise His Word!

Meditate

Slow down. Why does it seem the times in life we actually slow down usually coincide with unfavorable circumstances? Is that true of your own experiences, too? Depending on how old you are, I bet you can recall how quickly things changed one September morning. When word came into my classroom that bright sunny day known now to all as 9-11, before any of us had time to wrap our heads around it all, our world was changing quick, fast and in a hurry. Following the nation’s heartache, chaos would give way to an abrupt halt to life as we knew it. Even if not spoken, each of us wondered if life would ever be the same, if we’d be able to get through, and if so, could we come back from a tragedy like this.

On a more intimate scale, isn’t it the same when we personally go through a crisis in our own home, family or life? When our head starts spinning out of control and our hearts sink in despair, we need to catch ourselves but for a moment long enough to hold onto God’s truth and set ourselves right there for however long it takes.

On a more intimate scale, isn’t it the same when we personally go through a crisis in our own home, family or life? When our head starts spinning out of control and our hearts sink in despair, we need to catch ourselves but for a moment long enough to hold onto God’s truth and set ourselves right there for however long it takes. In troubled times our wisest choice as we let go of fear and trade faith in its place is to mediate day and night on God’s Word and on His mighty works. There is none like God!

I will meditate on Your precepts and think about Your ways. I will delight in Your statues. I will not forget Your word. Psalm 119:15-16

I am awake through each watch of the night to meditate on Your promise. Psalm 119:148

Think, think, think

As a man thinks so he believes. Our brain is a powerful source to be reckoned with. Over the years, I’ve read in different articles that our brains will believe what we tell ourselves is truth-even when it isn’t. Then, it’s easy to understand why the Lord Himself told us to be careful in this area. I love the way the verses in Philippians outline what is profitable, what is peaceable for our thought process.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:8

In my opinion, there’s not a more impactful verse for our lives and it’s worth committing it to memory. Our thoughts embody control in over our actions, choices and behavior. Knowing this to be true, we, therefore, can understand that fear begins with our thoughts. It’s time, friends, it’s time for you and I to spend more time thinking (watching, listening to, reading…) things which are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good and virtuous. What a game changer!

Comfort

What does a loving mom do instinctively when her child is afraid? She scoops up that one she loves with her whole being and wraps her arms around him. Doesn’t she? Because when someone we love is upset or afraid, we do our best to comfort him or her. Guess what? God is the same with each of us who belong to Him! We really can tangibly trade our fear for faith, because there is no greater comfort than that which comes from the God of all comfort! Why fear with the supernatural comfort of God is in the business of comforting us through all- all- our troubles?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Assurance

What are you sure of? You wouldn’t have the time to read through the things I was sure of when I was a younger woman. But, praise the Lord, the more I grow in Him, the more He allows me to more I how much I don’t know. Frankly, I’m not sure of too much. Yet this one thing I know, God is faithful. He is worthy of my trust. Take that fear and trade it for faith, because He is worthy of your trust, too. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine: of this I am sure.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Contentment

In these few verses so far, we have seen what God has to offer us as we trade our fears for faith. Paul tells of his trials throughout the New Testament. He faced circumstances we likely never will and he learned his contentment in life was not dependent on what was going on around him, to him, but his contentment was secure in the person of Jesus Christ. This is not to minimize our own fears, for like puppy love, our fears are very real to us. And, God is far greater than any of our fears. There is sweet wisdom and safety as we turn away from our fear and trade it for faith, and learning to be content in the moment, knowing this too shall pass and God is near, is what we need. Godliness with contentment is great gain, my friends.

…I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. I Timothy 6:6-8

Safety

One of our favorite new pastimes is birdwatching. It is easy to be enamored with the plethora of birds in southwest Florida. I wonder just how many species of them there are around here. As I sit on my lanai, I am guaranteed to see several of them from ones that fit in my hand to others that are as tall as I am. Atop the light poles along the streets sit enormous nests. It is common to see the Ospreys fly with either home building essentials in their talons or fresh meals for their littles. Airplanes, cars, bigger birds, traffic, prey on the ground-none of it matters when this feathered friend’s goal is taking care of her own.

Safety and Protection

Isn’t it great to realize the creator and caretaker of the birds of the air loves us and takes care of us? We are safe in Him. Though our fears try to destroy us, the truth is the one who created us is in charge. He is for us, loves us and cares for us. We are safe as we dwell with Him. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Psalm 91:4

Hope

Without hope we cease to live, even when we are still alive. For a second, just picture yourself sitting across the table with me (I’ve spent many precious hours doing just this with friends and new friends for so many years). I want you to shut out everything else for just this minute. Sister, when we belong to the Lord there is always, always, always hope. No matter what circumstances are surrounding us, there is hope, without exception. Believe it! Come with me to the Lord.

What is hope? According to dictionary.com, Hope is (verb) to believe, desire, or trust. In other words: anticipate, assume, believe, cherish, count on, expect and hold. Where is your darkest hour right now? Your marriage? Struggles with a child? A poor diagnosis? Loss of job? The fear of losing your home? Watching a love one battle cancer, or lose that battle? Is there any hope through all of this?

Yes! There is hope

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romas 15:13

In our despair, we are tempted to lose hope. Every time, the evil one will fill our head with lies and find a weak point with the goal of invading our heart with hopelessness. But God is the God of hope. Not only hope, He is able, and wants to, fill our hearts with all joy and peace as we believe in Him.

Hope is what we need most

In the darkest valley, Friends, hope is what we need most. You and I have access to hope abounding as we believe in the God of hope! In fact, scripture says we may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. We feel hopeless when we try to figure out and depend on our own thoughts of what is or is not possible, but like salvation (and every afore mentioned manifestation of faith in Jesus) it isn’t something we can do apart from the Holy Spirit. We need Jesus! Nothing is impossible for God; what have we to fear?

What have we to fear?

One of my husband’s favorite songs is by Vince Gill, and it’s called Threaten Me with Heaven. If you have time, go listen to it and be encouraged.

Remember

Memories are important and implicating in our lives. Bad memories, well, we don’t have to really talk about the ill-impact they’re capable in our lives. But the sweet ones, oh how they carry us warmly through good times and bad. Already we can remember who God is and what He has for His children just in this little glimpse into God’s Word. But it’s worth it to take the time to intentionally remember God’s unfailing love, sufficient grace, unending mercy and faithfulness to His promises.

Journal God’s Goodness in your life!

Again, I encourage you to keep a journal. God is the same, never changing, God. Yet, in your life and mine, He will show up in different ways and different times. YOU need to remember Him in these very personal ways, and I do, too. When we find ourselves in trouble, when we are fearful, when we think doomsday has come, we remember who God is and what He has done in our lives already. Last time, remember the last time you were feeling anxious and upset, when life seemed like there was no way to both trust God and get through the hardship facing you? He is still God; consider the work of His hands in your life and throughout scripture. Be amazed.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I consider the work of Your hands. Psalm 143:5

Peace

The world promises its peace, Where trouble melts like lemon drops… there is peace somewhere over the rainbow. A few drops of essential oils…there is peace coming out of a diffuser. Calgon? Simplify your home for a calm and peaceful life. Buy promised stock for financial peace. Better paying job gives peace. Get married, get divorced for peace. Graduate college with a new degree. Work out more. Eat better. And on and on the list of peace by way of the world goes. While, at times, any one of these ideas could be good advice, none of them individually or collectively can offer true peace in our lives.

Not like the world’s Peace

The peace we long for doesn’t come from anything the world has to offer. Our hearts and souls ache for the peace only God can bring us. Fear fights with faith, but God’s peace transcends all understanding. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we don’t have to be afraid. As our fear is traded for faith, by abiding in Christ, God’s peace is His promise and gift to us.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

I love how this verse reads in the NIV: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Prayer

I’m not one to script a prayer, typically. I encourage you to submit to God and be still. The Holy Spirit will guide your prayers. Prayer is the way of communication to the Lord and we can be free to come to Him in prayer at any and all times. When we have personal business to take care of between just us and our God, He waits for us. As we consider each point discussed here, prayer is our gateway to the Lord. Prayer is our winning strategy against fear. Fatih comes by believing. Prayer paves the path for our faith.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

This is Faith, not Fear

We are responsible for our part, submit, abide, pray, believe… God has and will always fulfill His promises toward as we wait on eternity in heaven, which is our greatest hope! We know we should not live afraid. Scripture teaches us to have faith, not fear. We have so much good in Christ to behold. As we choose to live abiding in Christ, He will manifest His supernatural blessings only He has to give. We choose Him. He overwhelms us with His goodness! This is faith, not fear!

1. Change our proximity: Get Close to God

Draw nigh to the Lord and He will draw nigh to you. James 4:8

2. Joy comes from the LORD

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.  Therefore my heart rejoices, and I praise Him with my song.  Psalm 28:7

3. THE Truth is Jesus

 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6

4. Praise His Word, (read His Word!)

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
  

5. Meditate, Linger in the Lord’s Presence

I will meditate on Your precepts and think about Your ways. I will delight in Your statues. I will not forget Your word. Psalm 119:15-16

I am awake through each watch of the night to meditate on Your promise. Psalm 119:148

6. Comfort & Compassion in our troubles: receive it & share it

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 

7. Assurance, the sure thing is faith.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

8. Contentment is both learned & a choice.

…I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world,  and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. I Timothy 6:6-8

9. Safety with the Lord and from the Lord 

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Psalm 91:4

10. Hope: FULL and overflowing

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romas 15:13

11. Remember, remember, remember

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I consider the work of Your hands. Psalm 143:5

12. Peace is found only in Jesus

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

I love how this verse reads in the NIV: I am leaving you with a gift of peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

13. Prayer instead of worry

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

When you feel alone

With Jesus, we are never alone, but sometimes we FEEL as if we are. Please reach out to a godly girlfriend, pastor or if no-one else, email me at hello@agirlinthemiddle dot com and I will respond and pray with you.

Faith not fear.

I love the Lord, but I am afraid.

We are all afraid sometimes

Life can get scary. Some of us have been fed the lie that a Christian will never be afraid. LIE is the operative word here. Why would God Himself weave throughout the scriptures, “Do not fear. Do not be afraid.” if the reality of our lives would give Christ-followers a pass to fear? Certainly, there are many of us who are thinking, “I love the Lord, but I am afraid.” With that confession in the open, let’s talk about what Christian women can do when fear seems overwhelming.

First

First, face fear with Fatih. So many /f/’s here, each important as the next. First things first. Unless you have never been on an airplane, you’re probably familiar with this scene. Before the pilot sets the bird to the air, the flight attendants stand in front of rows of people who half-heartedly listen to emergency safety instructions . Can you see it right now as if it was playing out in front of you? He or she holds the hose in one hand as if its connected overhead, and the oxygen mask in the other. As the instructions play, sometimes inaudibly, from the speakers, they place the mask over their own mouth. Each air-traveler is instructed to FIRST use the O2 on themselves. Before anything else, the expectation is we go straight to the source of our next breath. We’re no good to anyone else if we can’t breathe.

Face it

I wish I could say this is the most important of the first, face, fear and faith, but when considering working through our fear, they are all needed together to bring us to our desired outcome. Face it. How many times do we disciple our children’s character by ignoring their shortcomings? We don’t. We can’t tuck our heads in the sand to them lying if we want to make them seekers and doers of truth. The data is in agreement, any fear is best defeated by facing it full on.

However, does this change if our fear isn’t tangibly avoided (spiders, heights, crowds etc)? It does. Here’s why, we can combat being afraid of the dark by learning there’s no danger when we hang out in our dark bedroom throughout the night, but when we’re afraid from our own voice inside our heads and heart, that’s a different path of cause and effect. When our fears are based inwardly, from the heart, we have to then directly address them likewise. Good news, we can face our fears straight to our hearts with the Lord. Our fears don’t need to result in us covering them up or running away from them.

Fear

This is not a name it claim type of thing, but what are we really afraid of? When my mom was suddenly diagnosed with a ravishing terminal cancer, I was afraid. Completely afraid. I loved the Lord, but friends, I’m here to tell you it was the scariest time of my life. What was I afraid of?

Loss. I was afraid of losing my mom who I love with all of my heart.

The unknown. Everyone who knew my mom was praying for a miracle against all the doctors could report. The unknown, and the known as it was, out of my control, and it was rocking my world in fear.

Pain. Which of us enjoys pain? I didn’t want to see my mom in pain, and frankly, I didn’t want to feel the pain that sure enough walked along my side every day of each of those months.

Inadequacies. I think it’s fair to admit I was fearful of things to come of which I could offer absolutely nothing besides my presence, and what good is that with death lurking?

In truth, friends, when we find ourselves in a whirlwind of fear, isn’t it the same story? We fear loss, the unknown, pain/discomfort, and our own inadequacies in the actual circumstances or even (possibly even more so) the thought of what could come from our situation. Think about it, the what ifs we tell ourselves are the catalyst to our fears.

Faith is the assurance of our answer

So, Sisters, what are we to do when we are afraid? If we know the Lord, faith is the tested assurance to our answer of fear. WHEN…tells us it’s coming at some point (does this surprise any of us, I think not). I AM, present tense, we are going to be afraid at times. Then what?

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid I will trust in Thee.

Faith in action

So few words brimming with the wisest advice. Trust in Him. Here the Lord directs us through the times in our lives we find ourselves drowning in fear. We put our faith in action by trusting in the Lord who is faithful, loving and able. I will, I will, I will… trust in thee. . Faith and fear can’t reside comfortably together.

What does trusting in the Lord look like?

We can, and will, discuss more of what that in and of itself looks like, to put our trust in the Lord, but as simple as it appears, it’s really that simple. While I write some more about seeing our trust manifest in life day in and day out, today, will you decide with me to intentionally choose to trust in the Lord where we are afraid? It is the foundation of our response to fear: When I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.

Until tomorrow, much love, Friends. If I can pray for you, leave me a comment or email me through my contact page. God’s blessings!

Quarantine, Schooling & Grace: Welcome Home

Welcome Home

(Scroll to the bottom for the audio version of this post.)

Welcome- Home- Quarantine- Schooling- Grace

Less than 3 months ago most of us were busily preparing our homes and families for the good cheer and festivities that come with all things Christmas holiday. Homes were filled with great expectation of delicious food and joyful family gatherings. Some of us travel far while others waited to open our hearts, arms and doors, “Welcome Home!” Today, that message isn’t what it was just a short time ago as school children fill into their homes instead of their classrooms, and many parents are suddenly working from home instead of their company desk. Currently it looks more like, Quarantine, Schooling & Grace: Welcome Home. Grace, oh how we need more grace.

Unfamiliar. Uncomfortable.

We don’t know what COVID-19 is going to leave behind in its path for our country or our homes, but we do know none of us will be untouched. We already are living its downtrodden reality: Restaurants are filled with empty tables and chairs behind closed doors. We’re not eating at our old stand-by tonight (and they’re not getting any business!). Shelves are emptied of ordinary staples in most homes, such as bread, eggs and meat, as well as things fear has caused some to take and hoard even unnecessary merchandise which may well be someone else’s emergent need. We will keep changing our meal plans to fit what is available within any confines of our individual family’s needs. Shopping is limited in both choice of stores and hours of availability.

Even a little Scary

Older people are afraid to leave their homes for anything; staying home is good, feeling scared and without control, is not. Elderly loved ones are fearful and alone with no option of welcoming a comforting hug or a warm meal from their own family as even independent living complexes close to visitors. Employees with work are being stretched as cooperations, big and small, are walking a tightrope of preparation, conservation and the urgency of today’s work. Companies are feverishly working to keep afloat for today and all the tomorrows after this has passed. Churches of every faith darkened their doors to their congregations on Sunday until further notice. And, let’s not pretend the biggest impact of reality in America isn’t whenever sports are affected: every major and minor sporting event and community in the USA has been canceled. That, as we know, is huge in a country that pretty much idolizes sports.

Quarantine

With most children staying home instead of going to school, many families are stressed because of this abrupt change to their ordinary. One common thread to all mankind is that change isn’t easy, ever. So it comes as no surprise that a major change, such as a nationwide quarantine, with no time for preparation is even more difficult. To be sure, every family is impacted. Working parents aren’t accustomed to taking care of their children’s educational, emotional, spiritual and physical needs 24 hours a day (save expected school breaks and vacations), and quite frankly, they find it overwhelming. I think every homeschooling mom can certainly understand. The internet is full of tongue in cheek memes buffering the line between quarantined students and homeschoolers. Humor has its place, we need to keep our sense of humor sharply intact, but be careful friends…we are treading unknown waters here. Safely, we can pray for those families along with our own. Let’s reach out to one another in texts and messages of encouragement and support.

At Home

Welcome Home: Quarantine, Schooling & Grace
Welcome Home: Quarantine, Schooling & Grace

While moms and dads around the country try to figure out what it looks like and how to have their children at home during what are typically away at school hours, they’re peering their eyes into the life of what homeschool moms see daily. The former career classroom teacher and the steadfast homeschool mom in me are meeting in an unfamiliar way through this. My heart wants to reach out to so many in this moment with an urgency I’ve never felt before. Welcome Home, Quarantine, Schooling & Grace; where does the emphasis belong? I would submit the answer: understanding. The emphasis belongs with understanding.

Am I Overreacting?

Why does it even matter how or what we think about schooling, especially other’s schooling decisions? Well, it matters because we draw hard lines in society using the ideals we settle in our minds as fact. You know this is true; mommy wars draw the troops out to battle with every possible decision we make concerning our families.

Why Does it matter?

Don’t mistake my point here. It matters less what we think about another’s choice in schooling, but it matters big that we understand what is and what isn’t part of the choices we make. Having all children at home will surely shed some light on their education. Mothers and fathers alike will be asking all kinds of questions. I spent many years explaining to my students’ parents with words often beginning, “That isn’t what it’s like here every day, let me explain what it looks like in my classroom…” As well, I’ve spent a lot of hours in the past decade plus over coffee sharing with loving mothers much the same concerning homeschooling, “That’s not what it looks like. Let me tell you more…” With that, if you don’t mind hearing me out, there are a few things that need to be said, and I’ll try to be succinct in lieu of extensive. My **general thoughts follow.

(**general: with probable exceptions)

Welcome Home

Is this Homeschooling?

  1. The impact of social distancing keeps homeschooling families within their four walls, too. Despited the quirky memes welcoming you home to find out what homeschooling is like, it’s really not. That’s quarantine, not homeschooling. Please don’t confuse the two.
  2. In every way possible, any classroom assignment your child is given from their public or private school teacher does not work out the same inside the classroom as it does inside your home. Public school at home isn’t public school in the classroom and visa versa. You don’t know what it looks like every day in your child’s classroom, but they sure do, and their teacher doesn’t live in your home. Please don’t expect your child to suddenly be able to interchange the two. This is an unprecedented territory in the sometimes largely disassociated trio of teacher, parent, student.
  3. I hear you, and you’re right. You’re in your own house with your own family-your child’s teacher does not live there. Yet, Mrs. #Imtheteacherdaily has molded your son or daughter for the past 6 1/2 months to do things in her classroom, her way. Twenty plus students all willy-nilly doing things as they wish would never work. And, unless there’s an effort to tuck and run from work as ordinary, that’s the way your child will respond. Like it or not, this is how it works. This is neither public school or homeschooling.
  4. Be forewarned (is it too late?), when you help your child with incoming classroom assignments you’ll likely be reminded-by your own flesh and blood- that you’re not the boss. They’re not exactly wrong: You didn’t pick the curriculum. You didn’t choose what your child is learning. You’re not the one who gets to decide how your child is taught those things. When you chose public school for your child, you chose to allow the government system to decide those things for your child. Furthermore, even the sweet, loving, hardworking teachers who may love your child has his/her hands bound in many ways. The things she probably would rather do are asphyxiated behind today’s incredible stresses of state mandated standards, safety and teaching/testing in her classroom. That is public schooling.
  5. Most of us know what teaching looks like, acts like and feels like inside a traditional public or private school classroom, because we’ve been there in some facet of our lives. The majority of homeschooling, however, doesn’t mimic that ideal. This is typically a surprise to degreed educators and the next door momma alike. Homeschool can look as different as does each family. Homeschooling families have the luxury to take into account their individual child’s strengths and interests as well as each family unit’s needs and desires. Without the restraints of graded curriculum and other restrictive definitions put in place for large groups of students, parents are afforded the advantage of implementing each of their child’s learning in amazingly productive and unique ways. This is partly why you’ll often get a glazed look when asking what grade a homeschool student is in; the confines of objectives written for segregated age/grade and whole class testing isn’t a factor when choosing what, when or how each of their own individual children will learn. That is homeschooling.
  6. This isn’t another point but rather a reminder of how I started this bullet list of general thoughts. I don’t mean to put all of any one group into any of these glimpses, but the general ideas presented here do coincide with the big picture in my combined almost 35 years of teaching.

When things Change

I have other posts where I talk more about homeschooling, its purpose and place in our lives, today I want to focus on cleaning up some of the aforementioned mysteries confounding American families today. Probably none of us are schooling today the same way we were just a couple weeks prior. We have all been met with an unanticipated adjustment. What makes me nervous is the ripple effect I can see already and the level of contention that comes about when discussing any type of parenting choice.

Grace

My personal standard is God’s Word; and the Lord has a lot to say about how parent’s raise, disciple and educate the children He blesses to us. Maybe your standard is different, and I’m not here to change your mind or my convictions. However, considering the new living arrangements of social-distancing which likely will become even more constraining, we are all in a very similar place. More than ever, we as moms and women can come together to love and support one another. Regardless of any one decision we have made regarding our children, I think we’ve all lost our cool at least once or twice in the ebb and flow of mothering. That’s to say, I’ll start the line of imperfect parents (and teachers-homeschool and classroom), and anyone who feels the same can file in behind me. Here, we find ourselves level on a plane of unity in this way.

More Grace

At this stressful point, mothering is as fragile as it gets and it seems almost no response is immune from the fallout of a mother’s defensive rebuttal. Grace can be extended to the giver and receiver of what is felt as insensitive, but we can start even before grace is needed. Think twice, thrice? Before we post, or say, something, think about it carefully, and then think about it again before posting it just to be sure. (And I do realize even what I’m trying my best to convey here will surely be misconstrued by someone as is any public writing.) Bottom line: Can we offer a kind word or encouragement to the moms around us who are struggling? Go ahead and make this your daily standard while we tread these waters of Quarantine, Schooling and Grace.

We’re all struggling.

And, by the way, we are all struggling. I’d even love it if you’d start by encouraging me as I try to do the same with and without my little family here at home; I’ll happily watch for your comments. Thank you!

Homeschooling answers

If there are those of you seeking more understanding of why I homeschool, what it has looked like here, or how to start your own homeschool journey, I’m always one message away from sharing with you all I’ve learned in the past 17 years Goodness, seeing that in writing makes me realize how close I am to equalling years homeschooling as my 18 years of traditional teaching! God is good. Just leave me a comment here, or shoot me a message!

Post Script and Homeschooling Help

I actually slept on this blog post, following my own advice to be sure before posting something and thinking thrice. I’ve made a few revisions, and could possibly make others, but one thing I am doing is going ahead with more information regarding homeschooling…because there are SO many questions being asked right now. If you have any, use my contact form or just email me: hello@agirlinthemiddle.com. And no matter where your heart is in this very moment, remember you are not alone! You, you, you, are the best person in the whole world to spend time with your own children and teach them things much more important than ABCor 123. You’ve got this, Momma!

https://www.buzzsprout.com/994564/episodes/3291523

Peace In the Storm

I’ll give you peace.

Peace, I’ll give you peace when the wind blows on. Peace, whenever you call me, I’ll give you peace, when the wind -the storm-blows on. ~ Sandi Patti

In need of some R&R

Jesus was departing from the multitudes. He and his disciples had been serving the needs- urgent and impossible needs-of others for what we would deem 24/7…they were spent physically, mentally and spiritually. It was time for a breather. We find the account in Mark 6 when Jesus was about to orchestrate exactly what they needed.

They had very little, but it was all they needed

We’ve just seen, and they’ve just participated in, the miracle of thousands of hungry people being fed where there was no food save a couple fish and five loaves of bread. I mean, how big can a loaf of bread actually be? Yet, with a plan bigger than we can understand, Jesus’ power, and God’s blessing, He uses His disciples to feed the masses and collect the baskets full of leftovers around their full bellies. Let’s not forget this.

Quarantined for their own good

Then, Mark tells us what happens next. Jesus prepares the way for His disciples to escape the crowds and rest. (Today, we call this quarantine.)

The order in which Jesus unfolds this plan is so important. Why? Because we know that God is the same today as He has always been. What is the first thing He does?

Mark 6:45 And straightaway (don’t you love that, no time to waste, I am taking care of you right now-let’s do this!) He constrained His disciples to get into the ship , and to go to the other side before unto Bethsaida…

Jesus takes care of us.

Do you see His compassion for His own? From the multitude, thousands of men, women and children according to biblical scholars, and from the mix of all who they were tirelessly working about and serving, Jesus gathers His disciples from the midst and puts them on a boat to send them away from any more peopling, serving, or working. He gets them out of the crowd and off of their feet-sends them out and away from their reach. Before anything else, Jesus takes care of His own.

The verse continues: “…and to go to the other side before unto Bethsadia, while He sent away the people. “

Jesus knows the power of alone time.

Jesus loved people. He was healing the sick, casting out their demons, performing miracles such as just feeding thousands with food that wouldn’t feed a large family, and now He was personally taking the initiative to send them away with full bellies and amazed hearts. I wonder what the masses were thinking, what the chatter was among them, and how they were reconciling who Jesus was, and how He did what they just witnessed. Whatever was in their hearts and minds, they were heading away from the shore and back to their homes. And as they left, His disciples off on the boat, He could be alone.

Mark 6:46 And, when evening was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and He alone on the land.

Throughout scripture, we read of Jesus getting alone regularly. “And He alone on the land.” Those six little words speak so much to me, and maybe to you, too.

Alone.

Do you need more “me time?”

I think most moms can relate to this picture. Though we love our families and the people we surround ourselves with daily, that moment we’re alone brings with it an all encompassing breath of solace, even if just a fleeting moment. It’s a time when we can think without someone else intruding our thought process. A second to not think and clear our mind. But Jesus’ purpose in being alone was always to seek His Father’s face, to find God’s will and to draw near to the Lord. That is what we’re missing in our quest, as women, for alone time. Hot baths, a good book, a funny movie, hidden in a booth with a hot cup of coffee to the last drop, a refreshing walk around the park or even aimless window shopping all hold a worthwhile place in our lives at times, but I think we all too often get it wrong when longing for-and filling- me time. Those things are little ways to give us a break, for sure, but they don’t fill our souls or increase our joy with any kind of longevity. When we want more peace, more joy, we need more Jesus; that is the most worthy way to spend the quiet moments we are afforded. And that is the example Jesus sets for us time and time again.

More peace, more Jesus. More joy, more Jesus.

The scene as Mark describes it has the beaches cleared, Jesus alone and His disciples safely out to sea on their boat. What a beautiful evening as the crowd has left the shore quiet, and the waves lapped against the background of a darkening sky. Dusk turned to night, and it seems likely the storm blew a cloudy cover across the night sky.

Mark 6:48-49 And He saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them; and about the fourth watch of the night. He cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw Him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out.

Read it again, we jump to the problem: the waves and wind were causing them trouble. Ok, yes, we know troubled times all too well, don’t we? But don’t miss what is so easily glazed over: And HE SAW THEM. Jesus sent them away. Jesus cleared the beach. Jesus was alone on the land. BUT…

Jesus saw them.

Jesus sees us, too, friends. He still sees His own, loves us, cares for us, has a plan for us, and comes to us.

Mark 6:50a For they all saw Him, and were troubled.

It was a dark and stormy night.

It was the middle of the night. They were on a boat somewhere surrounded on all sides by the tempest sea. It was, presumably, very dark. The boat was rocking and they were having trouble rowing, steadying, and directing their ship. And Jesus wasn’t with them. Or so they thought. I’m not sure which of those men would be the one to try to calm the group down, but either he wasn’t trying or it wasn’t working. No, collectively they ALL saw what they supposed to be a spirit walking on the water and were screaming out loud in fear. A boat full of men screaming at the sight of their hearts’ imagination. Another thing they were all seeing clearly was their own crisis. It would have done them good to step outside of themselves for a second. Did they forget who Jesus was? Did they think Jesus had sent them out there to die instead of out of compassion for their own good? Weren’t they the ones who just served a miracle dinner? If just one of them had reminded his buddies of the real truth they were living, their fear may have subsided. “For they all saw Him, and were troubled. “

Mark 6:50 For they all saw Him, and were troubled. And immediately He talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And He went unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.

Without further adieu, Jesus penetrated the darkness and storm with His voice and His men heard Him. First, He encouraged them, “Be of good cheer.” Then, He calmed their fears, “Be not afraid.” Do you need to hear that in the middle of your storm right now? The world is rocking and fear is among us. Jesus. He still sees His people. He’s still in control.

“Be of good cheer. Be not afraid.”

The storms of our hearts quiet in the presence of Jesus.

Jesus stepped from the water into the boat, and at His presence inside the boat, the wind ceased. You could think that John would have swipe- slapped the top of James’ head and said, “Why didn’t you remind us that Jesus was with us and it was all going to be ok?” Or one of them would have cheered, “OF COURSE, what were we thinking, Jesus is here!” Jesus’ very presence and calming words, the cessation of the storm and the still boat all should have resonated peace and truth of who they knew Jesus to be. But it didn’t. Instead, clammed up closely inside their own heads and hearts, these men marveled not at the Jesus they knew, but rather they were filled with an amazement they couldn’t rectify and continued to wonder what in the world was going on.

What in the world is going on?

Friends, they should have known. Jesus is God’s Son. He had been healing the diseased, deceased and desperate. He was sought out by the masses because of the power He had shown. He was heard because of His love. He was God. The ones who walked closest to Him shouldn’t have had to even look to recognize Him in their lives, but there they were struck with amazement and wondering what was going on, and who He was.

They should have known who Jesus was in their lives, and we should too.

What have you seen Jesus do in your own life? Has He saved you from your own sins’ demise of eternal damnation? Has He shown Himself faithful in times when no one else could have? Has He given you grace upon grace upon grace? Has He whispered into your heart just when you were sure you were all alone? Has He showered you with every good gift, even that of the beauty of His creation? Has He sheltered you under His wings? Have you known His presence in the hardest, deepest valleys and His glory on the mountain top? Who is Jesus in your life?

Mark 6:52 For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.

Journal your gratitude

Here is a good opportunity to encourage you to take a couple of minutes at day’s end to write down something you’re thankful for in that day. There is always something to be thankful for; journal your gratitude! We know, every good gift comes from the Father of glory. Even in the troubled times and days like we are living now, remember who Jesus is in your life. The disciples did not. We see how they refused to acknowledge the diety of Jesus Christ in their lives. and we can learn from them.

We may feel like those men caught alone in the dark sea unable to control our boat as the wind blows, but Jesus is still Jesus. Let us not allow our hearts be hardened. Remember who He is. Can we take our eyes off our troubles, and kindly remind those around us to do the same? We need to look at the Jesus we know in our lives. He still calms our fear with His voice and His presence. He still sees His people. He still loves us and He is ever compassionate. His mercy hasn’t run out, isn’t in danger of not being restocked, and His grace is yet sufficient in all our circumstances.

Fear not, friends of Jesus, fear not. Be of good cheer, and fear not.

Accidents, Angry outbursts & Mercy

When a Christian Mom Blows her Cool!

Accidents.  Accidents,  such as butter splatted (different than an unintentional splatter) high on the kitchen ceiling in a brand new house, a baseball smacked shattered light globe in a  son’s bedroom, a cracked rear brake cover from hitting your son’s truck while backing out of the driveway, you know-accidents.  And,  as the saying goes, accidents happen.   

Too, as wives and mothers we are  well versed in not exactly accidents; an angry outburst, personal unintended misrepresentation,  insensitive fiery darts, an overdraft, an unpaid bill, spilled juice, sibling injury or provocation, a forgotten date, a diminished  request,  an unnecessarily made mess or any number of things caused by personal inattention or disregard. 

We can count on our  feathers getting ruffled with  ordinary accidents and offenses unless we live in solitude.  Occasion for  annoyance and even anger  is  no respecter of the Christian woman.

I wish I could see the thoughts forming in your mind as you think about personal  indication of late. We’ve all been there!  These are the things God uses in our lives to make us more like Him. It amazes me at just how trivial of something I can allow to unravel my entire day, while other times I am astonished  at my unaffectedness with something much more objectionable. 

In all honesty  I have to say, with  perceived personal   injustice my reactions fall anywhere between tolerance and tenderness to disapproval and unkindness.  If that’s not a recipe for my family walking on eggshells I don’t know what is!    And it certainly isn’t how I desire to live or what the Lord wants of me.  

Luke 6:36 Be merciful as your Father in heaven is merciful.

Luke instructs us here not to just do, but learn to do: to become.  The younger me would have, and  did as much, jump up and down with all malevolence when met with disappointment in others.  Spiritual immaturity in all its grandeur.  With humility and by God’s work of grace working to change me,  I can recognize some growth in this area of my life. Much more often I will  show God’s mercy to my family and friends whether they get tangled with intention or thoughtlessness, however I also  realize just how far I have yet to go in this work of becoming merciful toward others. Today  my heart’s purpose is to show mercy to others overflowing  through me from my heavenly Father. He is merciful that I may become merciful. 

I praise You, Heavenly Father for who You are. You are merciful. It’s hard to move away from Your mercy at the cross of Jesus for forgiveness of my sin, yet, I couldn’t list all the times and ways you’ve displayed to me Your mercy.  Lord give me the desire to show, and overflow from my life, Your mercy to others that they may glorify You and that I would please you in my life. Amen

For women at home

MASTER OF THE SEAPEACEHe still calms storms

He calmed the storm to a

whisper, and the waves of the

sea were hushed.

Psalm 107:29

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