Imperfect Women living for Christ

Ten Biblical ways to Respond when mistreated by others

I love the Lord, but I can’t live a perfect life

Part 1

Discerning God’s truths does not come with the prerequisite to live a perfect life.

I’ve been wrong, I’ve done wrong more times in my life than I can count-no doubt. I am not perfect nor am I excused from my sin. I am a sinner, just like you. However, that does not set us up to live there. Where would victory in Christ be if that were so? Yet, life in Christ does not remove us from personal hardships nor negate in us a response of pain and anger when we find ourselves the recipient of another person’s unrighteous schemes.

Certainly in the 50 plus years I have lived, I’ve hurt others, even purposely at times. Praise God that core in me was softened long ago, and He has taught me how not to walk in a life aimed at protecting myself by hurting others. I am thankful for His forgiveness and spiritual maturity in this area, though there’s plenty of room for more growth. Even more sad than the feisty words and actions of younger me, is the unintended hurt I can too easily spew over the people I love most, the ones who live with me in my home, the ones I gave birth to or the one I married for better or worse. My words can hurt. I want to say the unintended pain I can cause is just that, unintended (I’m tired, hormonal, hangry {you know that word?}, overwhelmed etc), but the truth is even to this day I can, and do at times, intentionally use my tongue to cause pain. I’m not talking about the words that hurt but are said in love, and by love I don’t mean mushy words, just straight to the point truth within a relationship that shares ongoing life. No, these words are the ones which come from my own anger or hurt. You know, the since-you-treat-me-like-this-I-couldn’t-care-less-how-what-I-say-makes-you-feel, because you deserve it. I could go on to explain the last sentence more clearly, but I really don’t think that is necessary. Pretty sure you can understand exactly the point. The truth is, only I am responsible for my words regardless of any surrounding circumstance. Is it any wonder, is there any doubt, about what we know about the tongue from scripture?

The tongue is a small part of us, but it can do big things, things both wonderful and wicked.

James 3:3-7 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

So, our lives here on earth are evidenced much by what we say, and we know God gives us grace as the wicked tongue unleashes our sinful heart and we hurt others with our words. But when we love the Lord, we are repentant of these sins. Let’s be careful not to get caught up in the net the world assigns to “Christians.” We can both live imperfectly and strive faithfully to follow Christ in our lives. The expectation of perfection isn’t from the Lord.

We need to guard our hearts above all else, because our life spills out from there-in words and actions. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. We need to seek forgiveness from those hurt by our offense and from the Lord. And then, we need to realize God’s grace, live grace toward others, and rebuke the idea that we’re not good enough because we sin. On the contrary, we sin because we’re not good enough but we live out our hope in Christ, pick up our cross and follow Him.

Have you been hurt?

When someone hurts you
When someone hurts you

The WHY and WAY to Guarding Your Heart

In just the past few days I’ve spent hours on my phone, learning,  listening, counseling and praying with my people. My ears have overwhelmed my heart.  

Friends are Hurting

My best friend’s family suddenly lost a beloved father. A young husband faced a heart procedure and  failing kidneys.  “Kids” who became part of us some 30 years ago stood by their father as he had multi-by pass surgery & waited, wondering if that old heart of his was going to keep on ticking.

Family is Hurting

Even closer, a  family member sat in the doctor’s office & heard, “That’s a skin cancer,” and left waiting for what the next appointment and what a biopsy will reveal.  My dear Sister-friend’s heart aches as she continues to wait on an answer to her weighty, and life changing, prayer. 

Godly Wives are Hurting

Because of the evil and cruel behavior of their spouses, two friends struggle in their marriages. each trusting the Lord as their  battles rage and the pain cuts deeply. 

So many are Hurting

Another “son” (by life and love, not by birth) learns his unborn baby has all the markers for downs-syndrome…and his wife’s thoughts for saving this baby mean ending its life.  I’ve learned of the turmoil in a mother’s heart as she watches her grown child struggle and wrestle in life where the ugly world cunningly tries to replace what  once upon a time Momma’s kiss and  godly encouragement would fix. Friends, this life is plain hard sometimes.

Can you relate to difficult times?

Can you relate to difficult times, currently? I’ve heard pastors say over the years, “If you’re not in the valley now, hold on, you will be soon.”  I’d like to think that’s not true but  we know the truth about this world because John told us.

I John 5:19 We know that we are children of God, and  that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 

This world is full of evil.

We have to realize the world we live in is evil, and the evil one wants to sift us as wheat,  to pummel us leaving us in a pile of worthless dust  under his feet.  You feel it, don’t you?  The beating of our own battles tear at us every day and often times to the point of discouragement, fatigue, exasperation and even hopelessness.  And that’s right where the evil one, the one who concertedly tries to destroy us, want us to be, because he is a liar.  He deceives you and me with our own feelings. And why not? With so much of our attention on social media, we gravitate and listen to things people tell us to make us feel good about ourselves.

The World Chimes In Deceivingly Beautifully

Daily, memes with pretty pictures,  beautifully scripted font or blunt sarcasm bombard us with these self-reliant, seemingly scriptural, hullabaloo we allow to soothe our souls. I’d like to quote some of these here, but I also won’t.  My plight  isn’t to cause contempt toward any one person,  which surely would happen if I pointed out any of the quotes easily found on social network this very moment. Neither is this  a fight against wrong. No, this is a champion toward what is right. We are deceived, by the very definition, to believe something that is not true.

We have God’s enormous grace and love

Truth is, we are not enough. We do not deserve a life free of pain and hardship.  Sacrifice of self is necessary -and good, though it  wars against the popularity of a self-seeking life of pleasure. But you know what? Not one of these things adulterates the truth of God’s enormous love and grace toward us.  Friends, we are allowing the world’s idea of praise to steal away the truth of God’s person,  His rightful place in our lives, and His peace in our hearts. Please, I implore you as I remind myself again, we must  protect our minds, our hearts.   We are confusing God’s grace with flowery words and God’s unchanging truth with moral racism.   

Our inspiration must be rooted in biblical truth.

We belong to Christ, therefore our inspiration must be rooted in biblical truth. When we settle comfortably with the deceivingly good the world is offering, we forsake the transforming of our minds to holiness.  Sooner or later, harsh reality finds us we are left  desperately pining for something more. That something we can’t find from the places we’ve been letting hold our hearts-the places we were never meant look.    Truth is, we’re not enough. God is. In our weakness it is only God who makes us strong. Loving others is impossible unless and until we first love the Lord with everything  we are, with everything we have. Then, we will be able to love others through Him.

We are not enough, but God is

I think you will agree, when we go forth to make someone feel better with an encouraging word or a kind gesture, and we should, what we really want is to make a difference in their lives. We do just that when what we have to offer is an overflow of Christ in us.  While the hard truth really is we are not enough, God is. It is the Lord who can make the difference, in and through us, that we so desperately desire in this hard world. In our weakness it is only God who can make us strong. Loving others (God is love) is impossible unless and until we first love the Lord with everything  we are, with everything we have. Only then will we love others through Him. What a difference when every ounce of what we have to offer is an overflow of Christ in us.

This world is a battlefield

Mark 12:30-31 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

The world’s words are easy: easy come, easy go. Like a favorite candy bar, they may boost our mood for a time, but before long we’re left with alone with the crash of our despair realized anew.  But God’s words stand forever. His ways change us. His love lifts us to truth and hope. Struggling friend, we will only find  joy, truth, love and kindness fully in the person of Jesus Christ. This world is a battlefield.  So above all else, we must guard our hearts.

Above all else

Proverbs 4:23 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it

We should be aware of what we allow to take up space in our hearts both passively and actively. There is a big difference. Passively: what we hear to, what we see, and who we are around all affect us spiritually even when we don’t realize it. On the contrary, we influence our heart’s condition purposely too. Actively: what we listen to, what (and who) we watch as well as the people we surround ourselves with. These are intentional decisions that will change our hearts either toward or away from the person of Christ. Guard your hearts, sweet friends. For every little thing we do starts there.

Guard Your Heart

Lord, You see our hearts. Search our hearts and show us how to be more like Jesus. Teach us to guard our hearts that we may overflow with only You; the world needs to see You. We need to see You. Amen

It’s a sign: I don’t know what I’m doing!

It’s a Sign: I Don’t Know What I’m Doing!

Visit any home decor store and it’s impossible not to notice the huge hand-scripted like signs painted to hang on the walls in our homes.  Many of them begin, “In this house,”  or, “Our family does…”  Maybe you even have one or two hanging in your own house.

I feel like a true depiction for my own home probably wouldn’t sell so well. “I don’t know what to do!”  Yet, so many times in my life I have found myself crying out to the Lord just those words, “I don’t know what to do!”  The varied circumstances ushering  me to that desperation  knew no boundaries: another negative pregnancy test,  empty cupboards accompanying an empty bank account, a sudden or arduous loss of a loved one, the anguish of parenting in tough times, trust broken relationships replaced by betrayal,  a decision hanging in the balance-even of obedience to the Lord,  personal giants portending all common sense, and too many others to even think about, each left me desperate for answers I couldn’t see through the pain, ones I couldn’t grasp through my weakness. 

But God.   God has given us a sign like those pretty ones in the stores, even more beautiful, and so much more helpful.  His words are  truth and life.

He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee,

but to do justly and love mercy and to walk humbly with they God?  Micah 6:8 

In the pains of not good, God gives us the message of good. What is good? What does He require of us? Do justly.   When those times come that seem to strangle us, we have a decision to make: do justly. In other words, make our decisions based on God’s truth of Him in our lives instead of what our lives look like in our own eyes. Choose wisely, choose to respond to trouble  based in the knowledge of the attributes of God.   He hears us, He loves us, He is good, He is love, He is kind, He is mercy. He is for us.    What is good? To love mercy.  When we can’t love the harshness of life, we can love mercy, goodness, kindness, faithfulness. We can love God.    As we choose to respond  to life’s hardships looking into the face of God, knowing, trusting and living out who He is in us, we then walk with Him.  When we see His patience, love and peace in our pain, how can we not then be humbled as He overtakes our fears and hurts and lifts us?   Humbly walk with the Lord. I don’t know if there’s any other way than  to walk humbly with the Lord, but I do know it is good. 

First Things First

Hot cup of coffee

First Things First;  the cost of the wayward cursor

Each morning my husband  hands me a fresh, hot cup of my favorite coffee  and leaves me with a good morning kiss, “I love you, Beautiful.”  It’s a great start to my days.  From there I plan to open my heart, ears and Bible to spend time with God. 

Years ago it was a sporadically ringing phone or the very reality of a needy person barging through my door as I sat quietly in the mornings.  Now, of course, I  am on my computer while I read and write. The distractions are far beyond what they used to be: email, text, social media, google rabbit trails, whew-a lot more pull than once a favorite magazine would be.  What I mean to do first gets pummeled at my fingertips, and opportunity  escapes with passed time.

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, & his righteousness; & all these things shall be added unto you.

 

Ironic. As my curser hovered over one page and then another, I clicked close instead of open as the Holy Spirit kept whispering, first.  Seek,  seek first:  God’s kingdom- His royalty, His righteousness.  Friends, what was I thinking?  How could I forego seeking the Lord first? What a costly choice to turn away from all He is.  King of Kings. Let’s not fool ourselves to think if we were in the presence of Queen Elizabeth we would be scrolling through the internet chasing something, or nothing. Biblehub says of righteousness, “An aspect of God’s nature which expresses his unique moral perfection and his readiness to save sinners. It is made known especially through the gospel of Jesus Christ.” 

Sea birds

Why am I ever so willing to desire, to seek after, anything else?  Not only do I burden myself with the pressures of life’s provisions promised to me when I first seek the Lord, there’s a much greater cost in turning away from God’s kingdom and righteousness.  No wonder He so lovingly tells us the order of things: seek Me first, because I care for you, I provide for you, I love you, I am  King of Kings and Lord of Lords, My righteousness is offered to your life that I may live in you and the world will see Jesus and be saved.  

Not ironic, divine.  We know the verse, but we think it’s for our sake: all these things will be added unto you -hallelujah!  That’s not it. We seek Him first to bring glory to Him in the world.

Oh God my Father, King of Kings, thank You for your love and care for me. Thank you for showing me the need of seeking You first. Lord, may my heart, my life and my priorities desire and demonstrate Your kingdom and righteousness first in my life. I praise You for your promises toward me and through me as I first seek You. Amen.

This is May

Mother

This is May

Every year they’d wait to see Ma come to church with us knowing she would be  dressed to the nines. From head to toe my little elderly but ever so  spunky mother in law would never disappoint. First you’d see her hat and she would be there underneath somewhere sitting and waiting for the question, “Now let’s see who’s been a mother the longest?” before shooting out of her seat, plastic bracelets clanging as she waved her hand through the air,  ready to gather her prize flowers.  It was one of the few Sundays she’d go with us to church, but we’re thankful for those sweet days now but memories.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day comes around every second Sunday of May. It knows no boundaries.  There is a great celebration and the ease of social medial allows millions to share photos filled with  smiling  women clasping one another’s hands and coddling new babies. Generations  of women who  share names and hearts gather together to  enjoy their day. Facebook and instagram shares are simply beautiful.   This is the hallmark of Mother’s Day.   And to the naive of the world in the tenderness of life, this is May.

This is May

Say Mother to anyone and the word will  conjure up instantaneous thoughts, but it doesn’t always paint a pretty picture.

Mother.

For too many people, instead of smiles the unrelenting pain of abandonment, abuse, or some other source of absence fills the motherless void.  Other women fight ongoing and overwhelming regret as they secretly remember the baby, the child, the young woman and best friend  that could have been  had they made a different choice so many years ago. Others wonder forever what happened  to end the  pregnancy dashing new hopes for the baby they already loved and  wanted so much .   Children go to sleep in a foster family’s bed, even the best ones, wishing to be in their own home-the one they make not so bad in their head and where their mom would love them better, while a loving foster mom  goes to bed praying they will always be right there.   Amazing women long for children of their own yet crushingly toss single lined pregnancy tests in the trash month after month. Young moms  unsure how to do this mother thing  wait for a soft hug and encouraging word whispered,  if only through a passing glance, from the one who matters most, “You’re doing great, my daughter.”  Grandma sits alone longing to hear her grown child’s voice, but the phone stays silent another year.  Soon, way before we are ready,  it’s  Mom’s voice  gone forever. Somehow without dying themselves,  mommas  do the impossible as they find themselves leaving the cemetery without the one who has their heart, the one they carried, who they gave birth to and who they  loved for every second of their life; the ones they remember every single day. Is there more grief than gratefulness? Is there any hope?  We search for the perfect card, yet, this is May for many.

May.

Before I hit publish it will be May 17, 2018. For most of my life’s May seventeenths  this would be a day filled with smiles, hugs, phone calls, visits,  flowers,  and chocolate chiffon cake. And my mom’s voice.  But not this year, or last year and almost, but not quite, the year before. Mom got sick and for a year we prayed fervently for healing. How I wish God would have chosen to leave her with us, but that was just for selfish gain; she’s not sick anymore and she’s rejoicing with Jesus, the one she loved more than any other. I miss her so much, but especially right now!  I know I’m in a long line of those who share both sweet memories and painful tears,  because she loved us so. I’d like to say it is because of how much I loved her, and I did, but the pain of missing her is a selfish pain and truly because of how she loved me so well.    One day before Mother’s Day and just one week before her 75th birthday God healed her tired and sick body and called her home on May 9,  2015.  I try to live every day loving my family more, serving my Savior better and honoring the memory and legacy of my godly, amazing mom, because that’s what she did even through her own grief and pain. Maybe I’ll even  have a piece of chocolate cake today.

I’m trying, Mom.

For me, this is May.

I yearn for my mom. I miss her in every way.  I miss her prayers for me, and I long for a time no more. Recently I had to ask myself if I have the same longing and  yearning to love and follow the Lord.  No excuses, I know what it’s like to really desire someone’s presence in my life and I know how to love…

This world is broken and sick. Our only hope is found in Christ.  The world will continue to hurt us and disappoint us. We may make choices we wish we could undo but can’t.  There will be times we  pray for answers, but they won’t come like we’d hoped. And it will hurt. Yet God is trustworthy and His love is perfect. He has made a way for redemption where we see hopelessness.

When we break a bone we head to the doctor who heals us by resetting and casting our break. Does your heart hurt, has it been broken?  You’re not alone. There is hope!  Our doctors can’t heal a broken heart, but God can.

Psalm 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

Psalm 34:18  The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

 

For women at home

MASTER OF THE SEAPEACEHe still calms storms

He calmed the storm to a

whisper, and the waves of the

sea were hushed.

Psalm 107:29

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