Jan 7

Meeting a new neighbor, being introduced to a group of people, sitting at a church function, making small talk checking out at the store, drinking coffee in the local cafe and nearly anywhere else we meet someone new the question comes around, “What do you do?”  Ironically enough, that question triggers the “worthiness” power switch among men and women equally. Soon a bullet list resume’ of titles and degrees commences: Masters, Phd, President, Author, Director, Teacher…with no shortage of acclimates as if we need to outdo what possibly could be looming inside the listener’s or overhearer’s back pocket of successes.

 It never dawned on my great grandmother, or  grandmother, or even my own mom (though she was  a special kind of strong, well founded woman), to think their equality as a human to any other person was based on what she did instead of who she was. Then, being a woman was never looked down on by any other (wait for it) woman!  The feminist movement over the past few decades is, sadly, one of equality in doing instead of in being.  By the same hand,  women were shamed to be content with who they were.  It wasn’t enough for women to decry equality with man for the simple fact both are created in the image of God. Instead,  they championed a cause fighting for the right to do and receive all things equally.   The yearning for societal approval and acceptance has pioneered both  women’s rights and the inquietude of being the invaluable women for which we are divinely created.  Once upon a time life was about our being not our doing.  I thing it’s time to get back to being. No need for a padded resume’.  Living life faithfully, instead of what the worlds deems as successfully, should be our focussed goal. Is there success outside of faithfulness? No.  The sorority of feminism  cannot offer us more than God’s best for us. And God’s best for us isn’t dependent on the wisdom of the world.  No power, no strength, no efficiency, wealth, nor right-fighting army will ever satisfy us to our core. Only God and His word can do that.  If you’re tired of trying so hard, try changing your focus; what, who, are you striving for?

So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.  Zechariah 4:6

Lord my God, forgive me for looking to the things who world promises will build me up: wealth, power, education, work successes, and teach me to know you more.  Thank You for Your Word, use it in my life to lead me in Your ways. Lord, I want only to be the woman who loves You  and the one You have purposed for my life. 

My creative, humorous, fifth grade student was the daughter of two blind parents who had just brought in an unsuspecting  Aunt to help. Taking advantage of a sighted person to share her life with she wasted no time. When dinner came around, it was the aunt who reached into the freezer for ice cubes. The whole room startled at the sound of her scream. Little Miss had filled the ice trays with what appeared to be real spiders, and her aunts greatest fear! 

 Spiders, heights, snakes, flying, feeling trapped, public speaking, do any of those evoke a shudder through your body? If so, you’re among good company as Americans share in those common fears.  We are a fearful people. 

I was barely 12 when my grandfather died and though I didn’t know it then, it would be just the beginning of so many losses that would come steadily along life’s journey. As an adult I have to realize death is  an expected part of this fallen world, but it never gets easier. 

Maybe because the pain is so great, maybe because I’m flesh and bones, or maybe because the evil one knows my soft point, but I sure do fear losing my family. The fear is understandable at first glance, however most often my fears are contrived in my own imagination.   They interrupt a quiet moment, a peaceful sleep, a dinner out, a laughter filled celebration and private conversations of which they have no interest. They steal joy. They crush hope.  They lie.  Yet my thoughts so easily beset right where they linger. I don’t think I’m alone there, am I?

Thank the Lord none of us have to make peace with our fears, real or imagined. No, we can be delivered from them, all of them, every single one. Then, peace overflows where fears once pervaded.  

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Oh, God, You are ever so loving and powerful. I come to You and ask for You to be near to me.  I need You. Lord, forgive my wandering mind and fill my thoughts with Yours. Lord, deliver me from all my fears and return to me the joy of my salvation. I am Yours, Lord, fill me and love me, use me to share your goodness with all around me.  Overflow from my heart the truth of Your salvation. Amen

Jan 4

I can remember Mom shaping my curly, damp hair around her finger one section at a time.  Most  of my life I struggled with the all or nothing trait. Longfellow must have had me in mind.

There was a little girl

BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

There was a little girl,

            Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

            When she was good,

            She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Time hasn’t tamed my fervor, God’s grace working in my life has. I still find myself procrastinating on what’s necessary or hyper focussing  on things less urgent at times (and my hair is still curly),  but for the most part God has shown me the importance of walking in the Spirit moment by moment. If I’m following  closely to Him,  I will effectively be protected from the weakness of myself and any sin that so easily suffocates me with the desire to do versus to be. 

Ephesians 5:20 …always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Rather than being in control myself, a quick peek at my planner and to-do list will manifest the urge to all or nothing, when I’m allowing the Lord to control my days, time, heart, I am free to just BE in Christ, to walk in the Spirit.  The litmus test for knowing whose path I’m trodding is easy. When it’s my own, I vaccilate between  stress and elation depending on how well I’m executing my plans. When it’s the Holy Spirit I’m walking with, I allow God to search and purify my heart. Walking with the Lord is freeing from all or nothing as  I am filled with peace, and thanksgiving. My heart sings praises to the Lord and my words flow with thanksgiving.

Abba Father, I praise You for all You are in my life. Thank you, Lord, for Jesus. Thank You for Your love, forgiveness, chastising and grace. Thank You for mercies new every morning. Thank You for another day to know You and share You with my family and friends. I am undeserving but so very blessed.