As a treat, while my teenager and I finished an early morning thrifting run, I picked up a burger for him and some of our favorite egg bites for me and my husband.
When we got home, I had a couple of things to do quickly and he needed to wait until he finished something to get his breakfast, too. So, in the dog-proof microwave for safe keeping they went.
I’m sure most if not all of you can relate, I was doing laundry, working on something at my desk, helping my son and probably a handful of other things at the time when I had a second to grab my breakfast. I favor the egg white and roasted red pepper egg bites, but my husband is a bacon lover. Fresh coffee in one hand, and my egg bites in the other, I sat down at my desk and started working away.
Work, bite, work, bite…wait. This is yummy but tastes a bit bacon-y. Yep, I had my husband’s egg bites and had eaten half of one. Ran back to the kitchen to swap it out. My son came in and had something to say or ask, like normal life, and I continued to fix the egg-bite diabolical and listen/respond to him. I probably changed laundry or something in these minutes too before getting back to my work at hand at my desk.
Work, bite, work, bite…huh? This too tastes like bacon and cheese. Did they not give me the egg white bites today? Back to the kitchen, microwave, I open up the bag and what to my wondering eyes appear? An intact pack of roasted red pepper eggbites. Here, I place yet another half eaten of my husband’s bacon one and split one of mine for him. Now, he has 4 halves of 4 different egg bites. That should confuse him.
I explained that somehow, SOMEHOW, not once, but twice in the same few minutes, I mistook his breakfast for mine! He didn’t care about his food, he’s easy like that, but he did sorta wonder if I was ok or not!
Distractions are part of life, for every one of us, there’s no arguing that point. If you’re a mom of young children, I know you have stories of what I call stupid-silly things you’ve done out of the pure distraction of raising children (things stupid-silly such as putting car keys in the refrigerator, or cat food in your husband’s lunch bag and the like, comment and share, we’d all love to feel better in the fact that we’re not the only ones suffering in this way!) Yet, there’s another side of distraction we should be just a little more aware of so it’s not so disruptive.
We know her as the Mary’s sister here in Luke.
Luke 10:41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosenthe good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
I think we get from this account the wrong message sometimes, and that is, Mary was good and Martha was not. But that isn’t what the Lord was pointing out. Martha was being hospitable. Hospitality is good! Have you had friends over for a meal or coffee/tea? Did you prepare and did you then put your feet up while you had company in your home and at your table? I bet things were neat, tidy, pretty and well planned and executed as you entertained and fellowshipped with your friends and family. I can see the same for Martha, she was distracted with doing good things. As their host, she was serving well her guests. But this good was not necessary, and there was a better good to be had.
I know this week’s breakfast eating mix-up was simply stupid-silly, but our busyness as women in our homes is a real threat to the greater good most of the time. If we’re not careful, we’ll miss meeting with Jesus for something not nearly as important (even breakfast).
I hope to encourage you this very day to think about what you’re missing. Have you spent time with the Lord? Is there something you could be doing differently to sit at His feet for your own soul? We are made to serve. The urgencies of life (children, husband, home, meals, cleaning) are a true and constant pull, but it isn’t the greater good, friends. First, Jesus. Nothing, not one thing, can be taken out of order if we’re under the urgency of meeting with the Lord and following Him in our days.
Today, even right now, stop what you’re doing and make the most of your time in this day, and in your every tomorrow. Go meet with Your Savior. He loves you best and He want to meet every one of your needs.
Ephesians 5:16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Christian Women: A Hidden Reason we feel so low in our marriage.
God’s Instructions to Speak Boldly
Acts 18:9One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent.10For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”11So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
Don’t Keep Quiet
Here we find Paul on his 2nd, I think, missionary journey and he’s in Cornith. God had given Paul instruction to NOT keep his mouth shut, on the contrary, he was told to speak boldly. Paul did just that, and now, 1 1/2 years later he’s being taken by a large group of Jews to Gallilo. These Jews were hoping he’d throw the law at Paul for teaching about Christ.
Acts 8:13. “This man,” they charged, “is persuading the people to worship God in ways contrary to the law.”
The risk of obeying God
Knowing there would be fallout because of those who surrounding him, he still did what was right in sight of the Lord. Oh, how I love what the Lord did here and how He acquitted Paul-just as He told Him He would!
Acts 8:9-109One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent.10For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”11So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
Don’t Forget, God is with you!
Here, as Paul is surrounded by Jews waiting for judgement to uphold all they knew (the Jewish religion was the only religion licensed under Roman law), look at what Scripture says!
Acts 8:12While Gallio was proconsul of Achaia, the Jews of Corinth made a united attack on Paul and brought him to the place of judgment. 13“This man,” they charged, “is persuading the people to worship God in ways contrary to the law.”14Just as Paul was about to speak, Gallio said to them, “If you Jews were making a complaint about some misdemeanor or serious crime, it would be reasonable for me to listen to you. 15But since it involves questions about words and names and your own law—settle the matter yourselves. I will not be a judge of such things.” 16So he drove them off.
Shhhh, don’t speak!
Did you catch it? JUST AS PAUL was about to speak… God spoke for him. And look at what He did! Among such a crowd of men, of Jews, God intervened and the counsel of the land “drove them off.”
Sometimes God urges us to speak-as He commanded Paul to in vs 9.
When in Doubt, Shut up and Pray
Sometimes God wants us to be quiet and let Him speak for us. I don’t know about you, and my own mother was the poster child of this amazing truth of God’s Word, but more often than not, we *I* need to let God handle my confrontations and I need to keep my words to myself. When in doubt, shut up and pray.
The danger of Arrogant & Wicked
Psalm 73 Describes the arrogant and wicked person. vs 8-9 They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others. They boast against God in heaven and their words strut throughout the earth.
Psalm 31:26. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (You know who she is, right? A Virtious Woman: A Wife of Noble Character.). What a tangled mess of lies to think our character changes when we’re met with ungodly people or evil circumstances in our lives. Circumstances reveal, not decide, our character.
Circumstances reveal, not decide, our character.
~Tamara| A Girl in the Middle
But You’re Fed UP, right?
I know what you’re feeling. It wears on us, the constant little things that beat us down. (I just spoke about this last week, go look that up.) I get it. I’ve been there…like, yesterday? I should have just shut up and prayed, but I didn’t. Why not? I wasn’t being unreasonable or wrong.
Double-check
Let’s double-check that thought. Truly, I wasn’t wrong and I wasn’t trying to be unkind. I just went with the flow from an innocent question looking for clarity about something we had done here at the house. Because of the timing of my question (as in, the topic showed up from our neighborhood social media and clashed with my husband just trying to get his weekend morning coffee) was ill-advised. I knew it right away and should have waited. But that little thing that’s so common here, it’s never a good time. Nevertheless, I didn’t do myself any favors.
James 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It (defiles) corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
The problem of talking about hard Marriages at Church
Times when I have been so angry at my husband and we continue on with life-with whatever we were headed to do: ballgame, errands, groceries etc (Oh but not church! Right? No, we all behave in church as if Christian women don’t have problems and frustrations with their husband. Save that for those in counseling (because, men are soooo willing to get biblical counsel when their wives ask of them-that’s sarcasm, Friends, forgive me). Christian Women are to never speak negatively about their husbands, right? Because, that’s wrong! No, we should not defame our husband’s reputation, nor should we ever speak to someone who isn’t a godly, wise, loving Woman whose only response would be advice bathed in prayer, god-fearing wisdom, love and scripture. That’s why we’re silenced in the church, gossip runs amuck, women slander their unsuspecting husbands, and marriages flounder. This has to change. Ahh, we’ll get back to this another times. Now, back to defiling the whole body.
Defiles the Whole Body
James 3:6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It (defiles) corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Defileth: to stain, spot, soil. To spiritually stain
Our tongue is one capable part of our body isn’t it? But as good as it can be used for, when we’re using it in a battle of wills, it’s not bringing peace, healing or honor to our marriage or to the Lord. Instead, we are using our own words against us; spiritually staining our own selves. Is it any wonder we feel so low about ourselves when we’re in the battle for our marriages? We’re not fighting this the way God wants us to (and HE does want us to win the battles against evil in our marriages)!
What do we do with a stain?
My husband is FAMOUS, I kid you not, for this. He’ll drop something on his t-shirt while we’re out to eat-no one can even see it’s there, go to the bathroom and come back with a basketball size area of water on his shirt. He went to get the stain out. When we get home, he’ll saturate it with stain remover and throw it in the washer. He’s opposed to stains on his shirts, can you tell?
What does GOD do with our spiritual stains?
Psalm 51:9-10 9Hide Your face from my sinsAnd blot out all my iniquities. 10Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
God is opposed to stains, too. Sisters in Christ, I could give you lists (and my husband has repented since and apologized) of years where I was fighting in my marriage completely innocent of the sin which so easily beset us. BUT, I was far from innocent considering my use of my words and my attitude. My words weren’t vulgar, but they were hateful. My words weren’t lies, but they were not said out of love and I wasn’t being kind. I was using my words, my tongue, in ways that were corrupting my whole being. Therefore, guess what? I was feeling cruddy in life…but I was internally and externally placing full blame on my husband. I was wrong.
Christian Women are not without hope in their marriages!
Are we without godly *actionable* hope when we’re continually faced with our husband’s sinful, hurtful choices? NO!
I Corinthians 13:6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. When we meet our reality head on and we know who is intentionally harming us by their words or lifestyle, we don’t love by delighting in their sin against us. Sisters, we don’t have to teeter totter between rejoicing in who our Savior is while trusting what He is doing in and through our struggle with feeling the deep pain it causes us. Praise and pain can coexist. Be encouraged, it’s not only ok to find it hard to rejoice into the face of sinful assault, it’s a loving response! We rejoice not in evil but in truth! Amen?
So, we know, there is another way and we will talk about that next week!
Lord, Renew a right spirit within me!
God does not require of us to be sin’s doormat-not even our husband’s sin. BUT, this way of handling things doesn’t lead him to repentance or change, it doesn’t help to save our marriage, and it ruins us spiritually, emotionally and physically in the process. Renew a right spirit within me; may this be your prayer today.
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